crap at school sux, but w/e i'm not overtly worrying.

Kingdom of Heaven was an awesome movie, go see it, no matter what.

Family Guy is my favorite show in the world, Stewie is the best

Here are some of his many quotes:
Stewie: Damn there must be some clue to the source of their mental manipulation techniques, your body and you, every four weeks for three to four days it’s entirely normal for every young woman, Oh my god that’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard in my life.
Cindi: That totally sucked, you guys call yourself cheerleaders, well I call you cheer-losers!
Stewie: hmm this Cindi is definitely the alpha of the group.
Cindi: And what happened with the pyramid? I almost broke my neck.
Stewie: *gasp* The pyramid, of course, it must be the key to their power. Mission objective, eliminate Cindi and take her place at the top of the pyramid. They're getting nude! *gasp* Oh i mustn't watch, it's not the proper thing to…whoa, I say nice ones Janine, and look at Lisa and all her curvaceous glory, oh my, it seems my wee wee has been stricken with rigor mortis.

Cindi: *gasp* Here comes Scott
*everyone goes quiet*
Stewie: Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God
*Scott walks by while none of the cheerleaders speak*
*giggle*
Stewie: *turns on tape recorder* I have yet to discover the secret of their mind control powers, also, trying to comprehend their obsession with the homosexuals from N*sync.

*Stewie in diaper in front of mirror*
Stewie: Ugh, look at how fat you are, you disgust me, Oink Oink fatty, oh yes, yes, you'll take butter on that English muffin won't you because you're the cheerleading squads token blimp. You don't deserve to eat.
*runs to toilet and throws up*

Meg: Hey Stewie, if I had a job I could buy the bag myself.
Stewie: Hmm, I squandered my munitions budget on that insipid Rugrats video, perhaps I should seek employment, mother teaches piano, I suppose I could try as well.
*flash to house*
Stewie: Alright try it again Richard, and remember, the wrong keys are electrified
*Richard plays twinkle twinkle but hits wrong note and is electrified. Richard begins to cry*
Richard: I don’t wanna play the piano
Stewie: Indeed, perhaps you'd rather play the bassoon.
*pan to girl tied up over shark pit playing bassoon. Girl plays twinkle twinkle but hits wrong note and is lowered further. Scream.*

Flappy Jack: Meg, order up
Waitress: Here you go hun, from Flappy himself *hands order of pancakes to Stewie*
Stewie: I don’t care if their from Kubla filthy wretched Khan
Waitress: Try ‘em, you’ll like ‘em
Stewie: Yes well I rather like that mmm...oh, yes, oh, oh, these are delectable, Flappy! Good news! I have decided not to kill you!

Meg: Being a single mother is hard, but the real challenge is having a baby who’s addicted to crack, right Stewie?
Stewie: Oh what’s that? Oh oh yes yes, I love crack, I'm absolutely kookoo for crack.
Meg: This is the first time he's eaten something other than dog food in three weeks. Oh well, here’s your check, god bless.
*Stewie served an order of blueberry pancakes*
Stewie: What’s this, blueberries, oh, oh my, oh, that’s better than sex!

Stewie: No no, I wont, get that puree of loathsomeness away from me.
Lois: But you love mashed turkey and peas.
Stewie: I'm sorry what was that? I'm sorry I didn't quite catch that. Did you just tell me what I love? Hmm? Write this down you toad faced frump, I love pancakes!

Indian Kid: Stewie, would you like to learn how to wrap a turban?
Stewie: Oh, why don't you teach it to the Chinese girl, or perhaps she can learn after her people invade your country.
Indian Kid: *gasp* Lily, would your people really do this?
Stewie: Try and stop them, or try and stop Pablo’s people from using drug money to buy arms from Lee's countrymen who will in turn sell them to Yuri's people so that they can ethnically cleanse the rest of this nauseatingly diverse grab bag of genetic party favors you call a family. So now you understand, yes? You all hate each other.

Doctor: Well Rudolph, we finally figured out what makes your nose red.
Rudolph: Is it pixie dust or, or leprechaun tails?
Doctor: No, it's a tumor
Rudolph: You mean like a magical Christmas tumor?
Doctor: No, a malignant tumor, the base of which is lodged deep within your brain.
Rudolph: Oh, *pause* like a happy special...
Doctor: You're going to die

Meg: Hey everybody, guess what I am.
Stewie: The end result of a drunken back seat grope-fest and a broken prophylactic?

*Stewie begins to puff cold air*
Stewie: Look at me, look at me I’m smoking, dog, dog, look, look. You know alcohol doesn't really make you warmer, in fact it constricts the blood vessels, causing…
Brian: Shut up
Stewie: *gasp and yanks on Lois's scarf* The dog just told me to shut up; I demand to know what you're going to do about this. *yanks again* Hey, hey, the dog just told...
Lois: Be quiet Stewie.
*Stewie pretends to smoke again*
Stewie: Freezing my nips off here.

Lois: Who wants cookies?
Stewie: Oh I do, but keep talking; all this talk of eye gouging has gotten me all frisky. Really, I've got about a half pack of Rolaids in my diaper

Brian: You better not tell Lois this.
Stewie: Or else what?
Brian: Or else I'll show Lois those pictures of you in her wedding dress
Stewie: You said there was no film in that camera!

Lois: Would you mind finishing up?
Brian: Uh, sure
Stewie: Yes, yes, do you like cleaning my doodee Brian? Say it, say it, say it, I like cleaning your doodee Stewie. Ha! Don't forget the taint.

Joe: This van has the latest law enforcement technology, watch *flips switch to on*
*Arms come out of ceiling and hold Peter in handcuff position*
Computer: Suspect, Suspect, You have the right to remain silent.
Peter: Hahahahaha, Sweet.
Cleveland: Hey, let me try.
Joe: Cleveland, don't!
Computer: Minority suspect, minority suspect *arms come down with sticks and begin to beat Cleveland* Danger, he's got a gun *arm comes down from ceiling and plants gun next to Cleveland*
*Cleveland moaning in pain*

*Stewie wakes up to Brian licking himself*
Stewie: Ahh, What the Hell do you think you’re doing?
Brian: I’m cleaning myself
Stewie: You were clean 15 minutes ago, now you’re just on vacation